How Did I Get So Fat????

I know how. This is a very sensitive and personal topic for me but I feel the need to be completely raw and real with my readers. I have never been a skinny girl and I have always been okay with that. The smallest I have ever been was 140 lbs. throughout high school. I stayed between 140-155 lbs. up until my junior year in college. Then I started gaining weight but it still was not catastrophic. Even at 160 lbs I was still decent looking...fast forward 3 years and now I a whopping 219 lbs.!!!!! 0_0


What is sad is, I have lost 15 lbs in the last two months. 219 pounds on a 5'5 frame is too much. I am past overweight. I am medically obese and something has to be done about this. 


I have dieted before but I always backslide. I think this time I need to start out with the deeper issues, like why I am eating what I am eating? I admit I am a binge eater, especially on sweets. I also know a lot of my eating are triggered by emotions. I am in tears writing this...because it is hard to see these words written. When I am mad, sad, anxious, and even sometimes happy- I EAT. I need to find healthier alternatives instead of eating to comfort myself. I need to cook healthier. I need to love myself enough to see the necessity in a healthy lifestyle. I want to live as long as I can. I do not want to deal with diabetes, high blood pressure, or high cholesterol! I HAVE to be more conscious. I have a hard time losing weight on my own so...


Weight Watchers is my last life line. I have done WW four times already, each time I am moderately successful but I never stick to the program so I can not give a good review of the program. I am excited to try the new Points Plus program! 


My goal weight is between 140-150 lbs. I can do it, it will just take determination, hard work, and discipline. I am making a promise which makes me accountable for something/ someone other than myself and the WW scale. If anyone cares to join me in this weight loss journey, please do. It would be fun and encouraging. I have a   few different journeys going on right now but this one is the most important to me. I will document my weight journey with pictures. I am not ready for a picture yet. But the first day I join WW I will take a picture.  


My Plan

• Weight Watchers (healthier cocking, eating, snacks, etc.)
• Gym/Exercise (3-5 times a week)
• Writing 
• Documenting

I AM TIRED OF BEING A DAMN WHALE and IT'S UP TO ME TO CHANGE IT!

To You, on Mother's Day

This year has been very difficult with plenty obstacles, losses, and let downs. But one thing that has remained the same- your LOVE. I know I do not always make it easy to love me but you still do. Over two months ago, you took me in after I had lost everything. You made a way despite your financial status. But you didn't stop there,medically, you made certain I was cared for. Again, despite your own pain and medical needs. I want to thank you! I am an adult and I recognize you don't have to do ANYTHING, yet you still do and I am eternally grateful . You've made so many sacrifices, not just now, BUT all my life. I am sorry if I ever made you feel like you did a poor job because truthfully, you didn't. You were "dealt a tough hand" and you played them the best way you knew how to. I love you for your selflessness, generosity, forgiveness, and even your rough edges, Of course we have had our ups and downs but we've learned from them. As a child I did not understand and pinned in a lot of pain and anger. We did not always have but you made a way Just like you say, "ALWAYS FORWARD, NEVER BACKWARD". I apologize if I have ever hurt you or made you feel like less, than the amazing mommy you are. There is another saying, "hurt people, hurt people". I have been had a huge chip on my shoulder for years AND I am determined to break that chip away. I do not know what our next chapter will be but I pray it will be brighter, and a happier place. I am thankful to have you, another mother's day...many do not realize just how lucky/blesses they are to have their mothers.


I LOVE YOU & Happy Mother's Day






*To those who have lost their mother's and struggle on this day, I pray for you healing and I love you. God Bless*

Update on Beyonce's Move Ya Body Video (WHAT IT IS REALLY ABOUT)

Beyonce' has joined NAB ( non-alcoholic beverages) company as a partner along with the "Let's Move flash event", dedicated to fighting childhood obesity with the first lady Michelle Obama "let's move" campaign. This explains the school cafeteria setting for the 'Move ya Body' , and all the healthy food choices in the video. If anyone should or could promote exercising through dance, I would definitely say Mrs. Knowles- Carter can because she is infamous for her cardio dance routines. 

First Lady Recaps One Year start of the 'Move Ya Body' Program

Also, Beyoncé, Tina Knowles, and Deréon have teamed up with First Lady Michelle Obama as the t-shirt sponsor for the "Let's Move! Flash Workout” campaign.

Michelle Obama talking about and doing some of  the 'move ya body' dance routine

My Knowles- Carter decided to do a surprise visit to a school, in Harlem, that was performing their 'move ya body' rendition. The excitement brought tears to my eyes. Just watch! Another reason why I  can love this woman.

Bey ♥ the kids

sited:  http://www.letsmove.gov/ and courtesy of youtube.com

Osama Bin Laden Dead...now what? (Impromptu Post)

Tonight it has been announced that Osama bin Laden has been killed. When I first heard the news I was excited and now I feel fear. I feel that as Americans, we must now be on our toes more than ever. What about Bin Laden's children? Are they not followers of his doctrines and theories? I have been waiting almost 40 mins for President Obama to make the official statement. Despite the uncertainty I am relieved Bin Laden has been captured (even dead) because people must not forget he killed over 4k Americans, master mind of 9/11, and the man behind al-Qaeda. It has been almost ten years.


11:30 p.m
Finally, the president speaks and confirms Osama bin Laden's death but what proof will they present to the American citizens ?


I love how thorough the president was so thorough with this explanation of the mission to capture Bin Laden and clarification of who Osama was - which was not a Muslim leader! I do not know what to expect but all I can say is there is still need for us (the American people) to stay aware and up to par on what is going on. 


"OUR WAR IS NOT AGAINST ISLAM" - President Barack Obama


That is it for now...later.