Sex. Love. $

Sex, love, and money; the top three desires of the world's population. I want to talk about how money, sex, and love matter. I always say love is simple. You either love your partner or you don't. We make it complicated. The loves you had in the past can create complications in a present love. In addition to that theory, I do not believe love was intended to always feel good. If love always felt good, how could you truly appreciate it? There is love in pain, and beauty in the struggle. For example an anxious mother is having a baby. During her pregnancy she experienced pains (caused by her unborn child) but she continued to carry her child despite that pain mostly because of love. The delivery is hell, she feels like she could die from the excruciating pain she is feeling but as soon as she sees her baby's face all that pain will be converted to love.

With that being sad, one would think love could conquer all. I am not sure it can, by itself. Maybe if sex or money were not factors, then love would conquer all? The truth is, when all these factors are involved the answers to the equation can be very different and the math surpasses simple addition and subtraction. With money and sex you start to get into multiplication and division, if you know what I mean? Good sex can have you feeling 20X deeper in your emotions and feelings. While money will have you dividing assets, time, and "sharing out", and this is what makes love more complicated.

Money = Love

For the love of $

Some would say to have financial security is to have love. If your significant other provides everything you need and want, does that mean they love you? The answer is no! Just because someone is spending on you does not mean they truly love you. There are other aspects of love, other than financial support that need to be mastered before someone can just say they love you otherwise you woman or man, might as well just "leave the money on the nightstand" because you are flipping tricks. You are a transaction. Wake up and smell the coffee, you deserve more. The first believer must be yourself, though. There are some people who would disagree that money does not equal love, you are entitled to your opinion but I never want to live that life.
Sex over Money or Money over Sex ???

Would you put up with bad sex for money or tolerate horrible finances because the sex is the wonderful? Let's put this into perspective. Your partner has provided your home, you have cars, you're eating good, bills are on auto pay, money in the bank, you guys are taking 3 to 4 big vacations a year. All the money you earn is your money, your happy with your treatment, you guys enjoy each others time, and the sex is horrible. Can you tolerate the bad sex because all other avenues are perfect? How important is sex in a relationship? Would you sacrifice amazing sex for financial security?

Say What?
I am going to be honest, it would not work for me and I know I have probably contradicted myself at some point in another post, saying you need to compromise and stop searching for unattainable perfection but I do not care, bad sex in my book is not something that can be compromised. I will compromise if my partner wants to work on it or asks me how to please me more. I would want to be told if I needed work and further more would want someone to work with me. There are tons of traditional and nontraditional options to explore.If your partner can provides all your wants and that is enough that is great. I know women who say it is more than enough. If this is your situation and you make it work, kudos to you. I am in reverence of you. If you like it, I love it.

Great Sex: Bad Finances
The contrary to the previous situation is being with a bum who has bomb sex. Do I think it is okay? NO. Have I done it? YES. I am not proud to admit it but if I am going to write about it, I am going to keep it real. Sex has this way of clouding one's judgement and in my defense I was young and inexperienced. I like to think I have matured since then. Nevertheless, I was a fool "in love", all because of great sex. The sex was mind blowing. I mean that curl ya toes, wet sheets, hair pulling, tongue tied, back arched, tongue ticking, back to back sessions loving. It fucked up my head though. I found myself settling with someone who was not only not treating me the way I deserved but also who never had shit! I do not mind throwing you a couple dollars or paying a bill here and there. I am your woman, I am going to hold you down but no one should be paying another adults bills. If you are not married or sharing/splitting responsibilities, you should not just be paying your girl/boyfriend's bills. I was ignorant though. I eventually felt like I was paying for my relationship. My wake up call came when I started getting overdraft letters from my bank. 'Why am I getting overdraft letters when my account is supposed to have five figures just sitting there?' Oh, I knew I had to leave! If you are in a relationship like this. GET OUT !!! Unless you like being broke? It will not get better. That is my advice. That brings me to my next point...

Are you a sugar baby?

 I was close to being someones sugar baby, I left because that is just not in my character. A sugar baby (a.k.a sugar mama or sugar daddy) are women or men who pay or buy to have the attention, time, affection, and love of their partner. Paying for love or spending money to attain "love" from your partner is ridiculous. On the other side of this spectrum, but still the same page, I think a person who wants companionship so badly that they are willing to pay for it in hopes of sex is not only desperate but disgusting. If you find yourself coming out of pocket all the time, you can not seem to get any response from your partner unless you are spending money on them, you might be a sugar baby. If they do not want to be bothered or don't want to be around when you are don't have or you aren't balling out of control, you might be a sugar baby. You will never be able to buy love. It's intrinsic value makes it impossible to afford. I know for a fact there are people who disagree but I rest my case.

"Ya'll dont wanna hear me, ya just wanna dance [read]" from Andre 3000's song Hey Ya

Who am I kidding, sex drives money in America. Only because we've given it its value, I'm referencing to money AND sex in this instance. Lol. So, this will never cease as long as the Federal Reserve continues to print because we have been conditioned to value and equate money and sex the way we do. "Ya'll dont wanna hear me ya just wanna [read]" Andre 3000. "Hey Ya." The Love Below. Laface Records, 2003. CD.

Until Next Time.Peace.

As always, thank you for reading :)

Have a Great Day.

Bambi