New Haircut!!!

Hello my lovelies. I got a new haircut. I went in for a trim. I am in NY right now, so it wouldn't be right if I didn't get a wash and set (Dominican blow out). In the middle of my blowout, I noticed my hair was looking lifeless so I opted for a layered cut to give me a refresher. I'm not sure how long my hair is. I may measure soon. To answer a few FAQs, yes my hair is still natural. I have no chemicals in my hair. I do wear cones when I wear my straight hair but only natural products on my curls. I posted some pics of my new hair cut. At first, I wasn't crazy about my new look because so much hair was cut (3-5 inches in different areas) but I started to like it more as time progressed.

Broooookkkk-lllllyn

I am leaving for New York tonight and I am so excited for numerous reasons.

1. I am going home. (I never really have gotten home sick but I think I am just a wee bit, right now)
2. I am going to New York
3. I will see family and friends
4. I need a break from all NC is offering right now
5. I will always love my city

So, as you guys know I am following weight watchers program, and I pray I have the will power and the determination to turn away all the good food I am about to be exposed to; Rotis, Jerk and Curry everything, pizza, beef patties, rasta pasta (one of my favs), late night dinner food, loaded franks, and the list goes on, etc. I am going to ask my family and friends to help me to be as good as possible. So I will be gone five days and I am going to adore every moment. I will attempt to keep you guys updated with some of my appropriate fun. :-) 

 I miss Brooklyn more than you can ever imagine. My heart is there all the time. I have not been home, just to chill since I left to move back to NC in July of last year so this is going to be great!

XoXo

Body Art Incentive

In the next few months I am going to making some major additions to my tattoos. I so excited about my ideas, and I am ready to see them on drawn out, and better yet, on my skin. I plan on getting one tattoo for each of my weight loss goal milestones. Currently I have three in mind, weight loss goals and tattoos. So my first one will be my 10 lb. weight loss. My second will be me reaching 10% of my weight loss journey and as I reach these goals and get the tattoos, you will be updated with pictures. Currently I have seven tats, and I can not wait to add more. If you have any words of encouragement, weight loss, workout, healthy cooking tips, please do share.

Love ya guys. Hope to have some updates and pictures soon.

Rewiring Your Negative Brain

Hey Guys, 

I know it has been a while since I have written BUT life has been a bit crazy but not in a negative way. For the most part there have been positive changes. I was given a small promotion at my job so my responsibilities have shifted, pay and stress has increased. I am very thankful though. I told you guys I was starting weight watchers, and indeed I did. I joined two weeks ago and lost 5 lbs. my first week. I was excited and very proud of myself. Now only 45 lbs to go...I am taking one step at a time though. I want to try to avoid becoming overwhelmed so I am setting smaller goals. My next big milestone will be a 10 lb lost. I will share this milestone because I know I will reach it. 

For those that are not aware, Weight Watchers is a weight loss program/lifestyle that encourages healthy eating habits, getting active, portion and hunger control. You can prepare your own meals and buy Weight Watchers pre-made meals, etc. Each week you attend your meeting and you weigh in, which really keeps YOU accountable for your weight loss. You feel so good when you get on the scale and the numbers are going down. Each week we have a different meeting topic, this week's meeting was about being negative about your weight loss. It was astounding how many of my fellow weight watchers thought negatively about their weight loss journey. Everything from, "I do not want to do this" to "this is a waste of time", and "I hate this part (weighing in)". I admit I also have been negative, saying "I will never reach my goal weight". Now honestly what kind of statement is that? How could I EVER reach my goal if I do not even believe, I mean really believe, in myself??? Self fulfilling prophecy is a real thing so, after years of human development, psychology courses, and experience I finally gave into the theory. So instead of saying "I will never reach my goal", I changed it up and said "this is the last time I will weigh this number!" I turned those negative thoughts to positivity. I refuse to foster anymore negativity.

 This also applies to the way I live my life. I recently found out some very disturbing information about someone I considered very close and highly respected. I thought the individual was a completely different person. Shame on me for my nativity. I was very hurt by these new discoveries. But instead of thinking about this revelation as a negative, I am appreciative of my new found clarity. I am thankful to know about your dishonesty and your unscrupulous behavior. 

If only I could have known sooner...oh well, life is all about learning and I have learned a huge lesson from you. I still wish you the best in everything you do, and we will remain friends. I just lost the respect that I had for you, and the love I had for you has diminished. Our friendship has always been something I have honored, but I realize, it was actually built on prevarication. It is still upsetting to me, so I know I still care but all the things you preached about "not holding the next one accountable for the last one and all men are not the same" are null and void. You dismantled your own theories. I am rewiring my brain though and instead of being angry, I will be blessed for the unveiled truth.

"sometimes you just outgrow people"

-a wise man

xoxo
Bambi

The Sanctity of Marriage and all that BS

So a conversation with a close and dear loved one prompted this post. I have also discussed this matter with my some of my closest girlfriends. I am not sure when marriage lost its sanctity, or if it ever had any but one thing is for sure, people no longer honor marriage as a monogamous bond between two people or have any problems walking away, when a marriage gets tough. I do not mean to be judgmental but I can not help it, at times, I am human. 


When I say "I do" to someone, I feel like I should be able to say they are the last person I want to be with for the rest of my life. The last person I want to wake up to, have sex with, have children and share life with. I do not even think that is a part of the proposal or acceptance deciding factors these days, and that makes me sad. I know many people who have felt pressured to marry, because "it's the right thing to do", or because there was no other choice in their current situations.


 I am no expert but I am pretty sure that is the fastest way to resentment lane with your partner. Marriage should ideally be because you can not imagine life without your partner.If there is any doubt that your heart is not in it or you are not ready to have sex and wake up to everyday, have children, etc with, you do not need to get married, yet. That does not mean you have to break it off with your significant other but be honest with yourself, it saves a shit load of hurt feelings, in the long run.


The same reason people aren't honest with themselves, I assume, is the same reason people walk away from their marriages so quickly. At least it appears to be with ease. It seems like no one fights for their relationships and marriages anymore. Now, by no means am I telling you to stay in something that is not good for you. I do not condone abuse,  lying, and cheating but people make mistakes. We were not designed with perfection in mind. Love is definitely not perfect, and marriage is no exception. Work through the hard shit guys. Act like it's worth it. 




xoxo
Bambi

I am watching my weight!

GUESS WHAT GUYS?! I AM STARTING WEIGHT WATCHERS NEXT WEEKEND.

WE ALL HAVE SEEN THE JENNIFER HUDSON TRANSFORMATION (WHICH IS AMAZING) BUT BEFORE THEY HAD A FAMOUS FACE I TRIED WEIGHT WATCHERS AND I WAS FAIRLY SUCCESSFUL. 

I STOPPED BECAUSE I THOUGHT I WAS ABLE ENOUGH TO MAINTAIN. 

 I AM SO EXCITED. I AM SO READY TO GET RID OF THIS EXTRA WEIGHT (MENTAL & PHYSICAL).

I HAVE DECIDED I WILL SHARE SOME OF MY PROGRESS WITH YOU GUYS, I WILL SHARE LB. UPDATES & PICS WHEN I CAN.

What I would say (if I ever had the heart)...

How old am I ? You don't know, do you? Maybe that is because you have never recognized a birthday, sent a card, or taking me to the doctor.


You don't know me. You don't know what ice-cream flavor I like, or what size shoe I wear because you were never there. You complain of your mom not giving you enough affection (I guess that gives you the "pass" to be a shitty mom) because she was trying provide you shelter and food. Bitch


How do you think I feel? You're a junkie, whore, neglectful, desperate, and my irresponsible egg donor. Affection was the least of my complaints. How dare you utter those words. One would have to be dumb or high-that's what it is, you're high (as usual); you think you sound like you make sense. I am disgusted when I think about your desperation and how you included me in it. 


I hate when you try to act like you're responsible for my achievements, introduce me to your friends, and show me around like a trophy- you had nothing to do with me going to college, my life decisions, and life lessons. I did all this through grace, faith, and my strength. 


Well maybe some life lessons. You taught me early what it is to feel pain. 




You made me hate you.  I don't hate.




*takes deep breath and continues*