Friends with BENEFITS/ Casual Sex

Okay, so this is a touchy subject because there are so many people who don't believe friends with benefits relationships can be healthy relationships, I DISAGREE. I speak from personal experience when I give my opinion. 


I believe having a friend you can go to to talk about things that bother you, console in, and be intimate with, without the pressure of a romantic relationship can be a very liberating  experience. Of course the individuals involved often care about each other and if it is a long term 'friends with benefits' relationship, they may even LOVE one another. I can say I loved my partner of several years but we were never in a titled relationship, in fact we used to share our love lives with each other, often after or before being intimate. It may seem like this would be an unhealthy interaction but for us, it worked (really well). I loved it and I loved him. We shared intimate secrets and gave great advice to one another. We always knew what we wanted from OUR relationship, and we followed suit.


I think the problem with casual sex or 'friends with benefits' happens with parties are not completely honest. Either they say they do not want a romantic relationship and really do or they do not want anything but sex but instead of being honest, they say they want more, so they can have (a) sexual encounter(s) with the other party. Maybe both people are being dishonest with each other and/or themselves. These behaviors are destined for doom. Now, obviously life throws us curve balls that we can not control- like falling in love with someone. As soon as you start feeling those feelings, YOU MUST share that with your partner so you can discuss the feelings, and you can decide what you want to do. At least if you have discussed it, your partner can never be blind sided by your emotions. If your partner does not share any of the feelings you have, it may hurt to walk away BUT it the best option sometimes. Because usually your feelings will become stronger, and their feelings don't change much. Ultimately, it is a personal choice but I have been there and done that, and I never want to do that shit again.

Two mature adults can make a decision if they want to consent to casual sex, if they are friends- that is cool. The easiest way to avoid misleading is to discuss what you want your relationship to be so there is no misunderstanding. The most important fact in this discussion any of this is to stay protected. Safe Sex is the Best Sex: Please WRAP up....there are so many STIs and STDs out there. You owe it to yourself to protect yourself, trust me you are worth it! Also get your STD check ups at least 1-2  times a year, every 6 months. At least once a year ask for a Herpes blood test, it sometimes does cost more and it is not included in a routine check up, it is important. Below I have listed two  of many VERY important Herpes facts. 

• One in five Americans have genital herpes (yet at least 80 percent of those with herpes are unaware they have it).

• About one in five people in the United States over age 12 (approximately 45 million individuals) are infected with HSV-2, the virus that causes genital herpes.²

facts courtesy of http://www.globalherbalsupplies.com/herpes/stats.html