How Did I Get So Fat????

I know how. This is a very sensitive and personal topic for me but I feel the need to be completely raw and real with my readers. I have never been a skinny girl and I have always been okay with that. The smallest I have ever been was 140 lbs. throughout high school. I stayed between 140-155 lbs. up until my junior year in college. Then I started gaining weight but it still was not catastrophic. Even at 160 lbs I was still decent looking...fast forward 3 years and now I a whopping 219 lbs.!!!!! 0_0


What is sad is, I have lost 15 lbs in the last two months. 219 pounds on a 5'5 frame is too much. I am past overweight. I am medically obese and something has to be done about this. 


I have dieted before but I always backslide. I think this time I need to start out with the deeper issues, like why I am eating what I am eating? I admit I am a binge eater, especially on sweets. I also know a lot of my eating are triggered by emotions. I am in tears writing this...because it is hard to see these words written. When I am mad, sad, anxious, and even sometimes happy- I EAT. I need to find healthier alternatives instead of eating to comfort myself. I need to cook healthier. I need to love myself enough to see the necessity in a healthy lifestyle. I want to live as long as I can. I do not want to deal with diabetes, high blood pressure, or high cholesterol! I HAVE to be more conscious. I have a hard time losing weight on my own so...


Weight Watchers is my last life line. I have done WW four times already, each time I am moderately successful but I never stick to the program so I can not give a good review of the program. I am excited to try the new Points Plus program! 


My goal weight is between 140-150 lbs. I can do it, it will just take determination, hard work, and discipline. I am making a promise which makes me accountable for something/ someone other than myself and the WW scale. If anyone cares to join me in this weight loss journey, please do. It would be fun and encouraging. I have a   few different journeys going on right now but this one is the most important to me. I will document my weight journey with pictures. I am not ready for a picture yet. But the first day I join WW I will take a picture.  


My Plan

• Weight Watchers (healthier cocking, eating, snacks, etc.)
• Gym/Exercise (3-5 times a week)
• Writing 
• Documenting

I AM TIRED OF BEING A DAMN WHALE and IT'S UP TO ME TO CHANGE IT!