What is love? Breaking it down..

Love is such an over used sentiment . That's what this post is focused on, among other things. Either people are saying "I love you" with out any genuine meaning or saying it just to get what they want, or simply because they think it's what you want to hear. Whatever the reasons, they often aren't the right ones.
So, let's first break down this thing called LOVE. What the heck is it? I mean what does it even mean? At its most basic platform it's an emotion. Its a noun or verb. It is a emotion of strong affection, caring, and, admiration. All these adjectives break down the WORD love. I don't really think that's where the disconnect lies with most of us. I believe the disconnect is within the description of love and the inconsistency of the actions of those who "love" us.
What I've been taught growing up is if you love someone you stand beside them in darkness and in light, you love them even when you HATE their actions, you should be able to be honest with those you love at all times, you should love unselfishly, and you should always be loyal and faithful to your love. What I've learned from experience is all this is true but also should apply when loving yourself and ultimately if you're not doing all the prior for yourself, you've already lost. Let me share a quick story. A few years ago I thought I was in love with this guy. By definition, I loved him "to tee". I was unselfish in every way to him but I didn't honor myself the way I honored him because I didn't give myself any of the love I was so good at giving, so of course he did not see the value in me. At the demise of our relationship (after finally letting it go, after forcing shit) I was drained, used up, and almost lost my ambition. I never want to feel like that again. So each day I remind myself that not only do I deserve deep self love but I would not ever allow myself to be toyed with again. Don't feel guilty for loving yourself.
So how do you know if you're loving yourself enough? If you're questioning whether you are, you aren't loving yourself hard enough. You're always second, even in your own life, and that's not ok. It's not easy to address though because it means admitting you need work as well, not just your partner. Now how important love is in partnership is completely up to you. If you can live life everyday knowing love is not as important as another element of your relationship then that's fine. Whatever works for you is what's important. Don't use other's lifestyles as a model for your needs. I'm no relationship expert but I know thats not a foul proof system. Fairy tales aren't real and I would prefer the real love over fairy love any day. Although fairy love would probably be AMAZING (lol). Seriously though. Everything that looks good isn't, simply stated. So don't covet what someone else has. It may be more fucked up than what you're working though/dealing with.

Relationships are work but it's not a job. If you ever feel like your relationship is a job, evaluation is needed. You may be working alone. It is true that people who love each other do hurt each other sometimes. At times it's just a hurtful word which can be easily adjusted or talked about and sometimes it can be more painful like not having any desire to be intimate, dishonesty, and cheating. You can definitely work through the small and larger issues but always remember to do this mending for you and your partner not to protect your image in other's eyes. Don't live in misery to "put on face" or just because you fear being alone. I say all these things because I've had personal experiences not because I'm above it. No one is to blame for mistakes, failures, and shortcomings unless you keep repeating the same ones.

Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?????
Marriage is a beautiful and sacred union of two people who share love :-) Notice I said it needs to be shared. Both parties, hearts,minds, and souls should be 100% committed into a life decision like marriage. If there are any doubts, there needs to be a discussion and/or counseling. Counseling probably should be mandatory during the engagement anyway.
Now, I'm sure everyone is familiar with the idiom "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?" Well, in my opinion, there's a few reasons. Free shit usually isn't AS good as purchased goods, who knows how long that "free" resource will be free or be available to you. In addition to that, if you invest in the cow you're more likely to make sure that cow is cared for appropriately which means you're pretty much guaranteed good quality "milk".

Before I go, I wanna speak to all the amazing men and women out there! The parents (single & married) holding down there families, children, and taking care of their responsibilities. The respectable, good men who feel like they always finish last because they aren't dogging women. The women who don't give all of themselves to get attention...you will be rewarded for your diligence. Trust me someone's paying attention to your actions ;-)
Don't be discouraged if you feel like your King or Queen is taking a little longer than you've anticipated. They may have been stopped on the course to you for a little more perfecting, tweaking, and practice. Or you may be being tweaked and perfected for them! Lets perfect that self love first.

Sincerely, B